if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize