i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
