Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
