Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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