Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
