i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
