Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
