I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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