How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
