For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
