Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize