Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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