i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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