but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
