Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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