he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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