I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
