I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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