I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
