dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
