I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
