Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
