Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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