At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
