community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
