i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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