Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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