It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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