i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize