Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
