i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize