yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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