toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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