sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
