Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
