I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
