i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
