Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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