like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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