Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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