He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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