3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
