also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
