i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
