she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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