I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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