How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
