hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
