Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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