I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
