well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
