gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
