where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
