my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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