Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
