STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
