Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
