The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize