bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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