you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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